Okay not really. I love rainy days. Mondays, ehhh... I only get one day to sleep in so Mondays really aren't that big of a deal.
Let me start by saying that again this morning my GPS turned off in the middle of my walk and therefore did not accurately track my work out. That was a bummer, but it felt really good to get out and walk this morning after a 4 day hiatus.
Friday I left at 8am for Leesburg, Florida (hence no walking). Our Worship Leaders Network sponsored a song writing boot camp there. Since I am the network's administrative assistant I get to go along for the ride. It was a very successful weekend. We left with 14 people registered and ended up with 21 people after walk-ins. The boot camp consists of teaching, activating and then critique of songs, so we limit attendance to 30 people. 21 was a perfect number. We covered our costs to get there and had time to critique everyone's songs. Well Dean critiqued the songs, I sat in the back and attempted to behave myself. :)
On the way home my phone notified me I had new emails. One was from my Dad and it was less than friendly. It was all about what a terrible person I was for not calling my Grandmother on her birthday. Here's the kicker... I had no idea it was her birthday. It's not like he told me and then I blatantly didn't call. I didn't know! Some may be appalled that I didn't know it was her birthday, but I have found a bunch of people who couldn't tell me when their grandparents birthdays are. Does that make us all horrible people? Because according to my Dad, I'm a horrible person.
My Mom's mom, who I called Gibby, was one of the most important people in my life. We had a very close bond. We didn't talk on the phone a lot. She was up early and I was up late. If she called me when it was good for her I was at work, and if I called when it was good for me she was in or going to bed. She used to say to me, "I know we don't talk much, but I know that doesn't mean we love each other any less." It was so true! Her death was one of the toughest things I have ever gone through. (More about that in a few days... NO TEARS RIGHT NOW! GRRR!) Apparently though that's not good enough for my Dad. Because I don't call my grandparents once a week I'm the world's worst granddaughter and I couldn't possibly love them. Oh and to boot I'm apparently a hypocrite. He assumes the reason I don't call every other day is because I am harboring resentment towards them.
There was an incident a few years back that caused my sister and I to keep our distance for a little while. The drama can just be downright overwhelming! But I don't resent them. I've forgiven them. If I resented them why would I have organized a family photo so that we would have something before it's too late? Which, by the way, according to my Dad means nothing because I don't love them. It makes me want to say, "Then have the photographer photoshop us out!"
The worst part of the whole thing is that my own father doesn't know me at all. He doesn't know that it's not my heart to purposely hurt anyone or realize that if I did harbor some sort of resentment I wouldn't have given a flip about having a picture of our family. There's no winning. No matter what I do it's NEVER good enough. I'm not living my life they way they want. According to my Dad I'm "just an assistant at some church." He has NO concept of what I do at all. My grandmother wants me to "move home and marry a West Virginia boy." Forget what I want for my life, or even better what GOD wants. I need to do it their way. But I just laugh it off and try not to let it bother me.... until my Dad manifests as the jerk he so often is. For someone that wants to be accepted as he is he sure is not very accepting of others.
I'm going to go to Publix, get groceries, buy a "Happy Belated Birthday" card and debate whether to just ignore Hunter or to respond. I'm just done though.... done!
On a brighter note.... THE STEELERS ARE GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL! All should be right with the world, right?!
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