Children of the 80s

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Sushi Feast

Not sure if you can see it but we gut all of this yummy sushi for $21.62 less Nat's nurse discount! Good night out with the girls!

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Girls Weekend

Hanging with two of my girls talking and drinking coffee.

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Workin for the Weekend!

After two weeks of conference I'm ready to veg the weekend away! I think overall we all came through with out biting each other's heads off, but today we're all weary. It can only be expected after two weeks of late nights and early mornings.

Last night I had one of those dreams that sticks with you all day. Ever had one of those? It's irritating because the person that made the dream sticky has not been a subject of conversation or even a passing thought in my mind over the last several weeks. In the dream they came around with all of their charm trying to pry their way back into my life and I did my darndest to keep them away. Instead they wore down my best defenses. About half-way through this morning I wondered why I felt so off, post-conference and sleep deprivation aside, and I remembered the dream. With that the forgiveness and moving-on processes start over.

I dream all the time, but I have learned that sometimes my dreams are not as random as they seem. In particular with this individual it tends to be true. I have had random dreams that this person played a roll in, but I have also had dreams where God was trying to speak to me about that person. I can't help but wonder which situation this is. Completely random, or is something happening? Either way I have to shake it off and just trust God. Otherwise I'll get in a funk. I've been in a good place lately and I don't want this person's "subconscious" reappearance in my life to change that.

Well, the weekend awaits! I'm going to bug out a few minutes early, run to the store, maybe stop and get a movie, go home, put my pjs on and camp out on the couch for the evening!

Post-Conference Friday

It seems odd to work the day after a conference ends, but Rebecca made it tolerable by bringing Spudnuts! Mmmmmm!

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Conference Delirium

Would you like some M&Ms? You can skin them with you teeth.

Late nights

Sharon didn't eat all of those herself. Brenda must be crashing from her sugar high.

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Butterfinger... better than Snickers!

Cravings!

It takes all sorts of things to get through conference.

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I Put My Trust in You

In April of last year after a long hard week of conference a wonderful friend of mine came to visit for the evening. Friday night we stayed up late talking and catching up and then went to bed. I said a quick prayer as I laid my exhausted head on my pillow and fell asleep. About 30 minutes later I woke up singing, "Lord I put my trust in You and I place my life in your hands. I put all my hope in you and I surrender all that I am." It kept rolling over and over in my head and spirit so I grabbed my trusty cell phone with it's voice recorder and sang it in to the phone. Not too loud as not to wake my friend sleeping in the adjacent room, but I knew I had to preserve what I was hearing. The rest of the framework of the song came easily. Though I knew it wasn't perfect and would need to be applied to the criteria for effective worship songs it was in its rawest form a piece of my heart.

You see the conversation of the night before was both wonderful and bittersweet. It brought a great time of catching up with a Godsend of a friend, but it also brought the revelation of the death of some hopes that I had been holding on to. I knew something was going on, but that night all was confirmed. Though I couldn't be surprised because God had been preparing my heart for such information, there was a lot to be walked out. Somehow in the initial moments and hours of enlightenment I knew that God was still good and though I didn't understand why everything had happened if it was going to turn out the way it did, He was faithful, He had a plan and He could be trusted.

It was several months before I sat down with our worship leader to take my lyrics and melody and make them into a song. The process went fairly smoothly. We reworked some words, rearranged some things and in the end had most of the original only better. I'll never forget sitting on the other side of his desk having just recorded a scratch track when tears filled my eyes. I had underestimated how finally releasing this prayer of my heart would effect me.

In the months since that day the song has been both a blessing and a curse at times. There have been days when the words couldn't be truer and others where trust was a very hard concept to grasp. More recently numb would more accurately describe my feelings towards my song, its message and its story, until yesterday.

I can't pinpoint what the shift was. We practiced it pre-service and I felt much the same as I had recently. Being that it was in the middle of the list I had serious doubts we would even get to it. We hadn't the last 4 or 5 times it had been on the list, and as our worship goes it didn't surprise me. But as we neared time for communion our pastor stepped over and asked the worship leader to do my song. About halfway through the song once again hope began to rise in my heart. I don't know why. I don't know what for, but finally again I felt my heart agreeing with the words I was singing.

Even now tears well up in my eyes as I think about how trustworthy He is. Grant it over the last 10 years a lot of things have not worked out as I would have liked them too, but in retrospect I can see how in His infinite wisdom He was saving me much pain and heartache. It feels like a lot is up in the air right now, but I keep on pressing forward. "For I know the plans you have for me, plans for good and not for evil. For I know the plans you have for me, plans to bless me and give me destiny." His plans are good. His thoughts are towards me and if I will stop striving, stop trying to figure things out, stop trying to be someone other than me, He will take care of it all.

In April our newest praise and worship CD will be released and I Put My Trust in You will be on it. Finally after a year it will be released to bring hope and peace to others the way it has to me. I've been frustrated at times that it hasn't made it on any of our EPs, but I'm starting to think that God had in mind the perfect time for it to be produced. We've been singing it for a year, and now, more than ever we are a people in need of hope, in need of trusting God to take care of it all.


I Put My Trust in You

Your love gives me peace beyond peace
Your word gives me strength to hope beyond hope
I know what You have said to me
Through Your promise I can trust in You

Lord I put my trust in You
And I place my life in Your hands
I put all my hope in You
And I surrender all that I am

For I know the plans you have for me
Plans for good and not for evil
For I know the plans you have for me
Plans to bless me
And give me destiny

Be careful little mousey...

Trying to fend of mice...

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Someday soon......

Here's a few songs that struck me today as they played from my iTunes: "Someday Soon" Lyrics
by Francesca Battistelli | from the album My Paper Heart

I wanna be the one who knows everything about you
I wanna be the one who’s always on your mind
I wanna be the one to get all of your affection and attention
You’re the one that I’ve been waiting for, for all this time
And I can’t imagine anything, anything better than

(Chorus)
Someday falling in love with you
Holding your hand
Making our plans all come true
Someday under a sky so blue
I’ll give you my heart
Our story will start someday soon

I wanna be the one who does everything with you
Watching stars, washing cars, taking walks, going to the store
I wanna be the one who gets to change her last name someday
To something that sounds something more like yours

(Chorus)

Yeah I’ll be telling you I love you
On a picture perfect day
And those words inside my head
They sound like angels singing praise
It’s what I was made to say

Beautiful Beautiful - Lyrics

Album: My Paper Heart
Artist: Francesca Battistelli

Don’t know how it is You looked at me
And saw the person that I could be
Awakening my heart
Breaking through the dark
Suddenly Your grace

(Chorus)
Like sunlight burning at midnight
Making my life something so
Beautiful, beautiful
Mercy reaching to save me
All that I need
You are so
Beautiful, beautiful

Now there’s a joy inside I can’t contain
But even perfect days can end in rain
And though it’s pouring down
I see You through the clouds
Shining on my face

(Chorus)

I have come undone
But I have just begun
Changing by Your grace

"Behind The Scenes" Lyrics
by Francesca Battistelli | from the album My Paper Heart

You may think
I’m just fine
How could anything
Ever be out of line?

I take my time
To set the stage
To make sure everything
Is all in place

Even though I’ve got the lines rehearsed
A picture only paints a thousand words

(Chorus)
Things aren’t always what they seem
You’re only seeing part of me
There’s more than you could ever know
Behind the scenes
I’m incomplete and I’m undone
But I suppose like everyone
There’s so much more that’s going on
Behind the scenes

Sometimes I can’t see
Anything
Through the dark
Surrounding me
And at times I’m unsure
About the ground
Beneath my feet
If it’s safe and sound

When it’s hard to find hope in the unseen
I have peace in knowing it will find me

(Chorus)

You may think I’m just fine
How could anything ever be out of line?

It feels like Home to me......

In September of 1998 I packed up all of my earthly belongings (Save a few childhood toys that my parents still cart around with them.) and moved to Santa Rosa Beach, Florida to go to Bible College. The first few... okay maybe seven, years that I was here I compared everything and everyone to "home." I wanted to go back to the days of my huge groups of friends and fond memories. Back to the days when I didn't feel lonely and I was with people that I felt truly knew me.

Don't get me wrong, all of that time I was making wonderful friends. I was going on amazing trips, having amazing experiences. I couldn't see it though. I appreciated all that I was experiencing, but not as I should have.

Then for several years I looked for ways out. I thought God was opening a door to move me on. So I applied, I looked, I knocked on doors and none opened. Reluctantly I stayed here and kept plugging along.

Something has happened though recently and I've finally realized that I in fact love it here. I hate the weather, and would prefer hills to the beach, but I'm happy here. I like my job. I love the opportunities I have to minister and experience new things. This is home.

I told God back in April that I would stay here forever if that's what He wanted, as long as I don't have to stay alone. It was resolve then. Now it is desire. I'll do whatever He wants me to, stay, move on, I will learn to be content either way. But right now I'm glad this is where He has me. Finally glad!

We are the Champions my friend...... Steelers keep on fighting to the end!

Oh Happy Day! My Steelers won the Super Bowl last night and I am excited and exhausted! I've been planning and prepping for the party since they beat Baltimore two weeks ago. I had no idea who was coming. I posted an invite on Facebook and a few people responded, but knowing that it was an open party I really had no clue who would show up. Throughout the course of the night somewhere in the neighborhood of 37 people filtered through my house. Some just stopped by, others stayed all night. We actually got permission to build a small fire pit next to the house so a lot of people hung out outside, while the hardcore football fans stayed in to watch the game. It was so open that people I never ever would have imagine showed up. Oh, well, that's what parties are for, right?!

The Steelers winning the Super Bowl is a tad bitter sweet for me as it means no more football for several months. So sad! I really do love football!

Go Steelers!

The cupcakes all decorated and ready for the party. htey taste AMAZING!

King Cake

Here's the King Cake with the icing and sugar.

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