Another Mom Dream

This morning I had another dream about my Mom.  It’s left me a bit weepy all morning and made me unusually late for work.  It’s rather difficult to put on eye makeup when tears are streaming down your face.  Good thing I have waterproof eye liner!  And so thankful for understanding bosses and co-workers.


It was a mostly good dream.  My Mom was at my house, sitting in my living room and I was telling her about all of the things going on in my life.  I knew she wasn’t really alive, but I didn’t care, I was just glad she was there.

I was cleaning up the kitchen table and told her I had made a cake for her birthday.  I described it to her, that it was her favorite, white cake with white icing and roses.  She looked at me and said, “Like this?”  And showed me a piece of the cake in a Tupperware container.  I said, “Yes, just like that!”  She put the container down and said, “I know!  I was there.  Thank you sweetie.”  (I cried typing this part, and I cry every time I re-read it.)

About the time we started talking about the cake her husband appeared in the dream.  He wasn’t talking to either of us.  Just kinda doing his own thing.  

After she told me that she was there on her birthday I started crying.  I started to walk over and hug her and tell her how much I missed her, but he stepped in front of me.  As I opened my mouth to speak so did he and said the same thing I said, but in a mocking tone, “I hate you!”  At that I tried to gouge his eyes out with my thumbs.  (Yes, I know... sometimes I get a little violent in my dreams.)  With that I woke up.

I was sharing the dream with a friend and when I mentioned that he showed up she said he stole the moment with my Mom just like he had the last time I saw her.  I definitely still have some issues that I need to work through and resolve as far as he is concerned.  I need to forgive him for that terrible weekend in November, but I think it’s going to take a little more time.  

It’s funny because I never once before they got married or while they were married felt as if he stole my Mom away like kids often do when their parents remarry.  However, now I do feel like he stole the last bit of time I could have had with her.  Or maybe he stole her all together by not making her go to the Dr. sooner.