Things I Love! Keeping a good attitude!

This morning I posted a status on Facebook regarding my pet peeve of the misuse of “your” and “you’re.”  It started me thinking about my sundry list of pet peeves and I almost started to make that list a blog.  It would have been something like, “Kara’s Top 20 Pet Peeves.”  

However, I decided such a negative list did two things - 1. It makes me look like a pessimist.  2. It completely counteracts my current mission of giving thanks for one thing everyday.  Instead I have decided to make a list of 20 things I love.  Let’s consider this my contribution to all of those who post “Things I Love Thursday.”  (It is important to note that this is a list of THINGS - items, activities, etc. - not people.)

Change...

Today I went to work late thanks to the pestering headache I woke up with.  Before going in I made a bank and Starbucks run.  My favorite Barista was there, but did not even say hello (insert pouty face).  I think that has something to do with the fact that there were lots of other employees there.  And I think the general manager arrived as I was leaving.  So Cute Barista (who really does have a name) may have been a little stressed... at least that’s what I’ll chalk it up to today.

Flying with a Broken Wing

Last Friday I got home and realized I had forgotten my song list at the office.  Though I was annoyed at having to go back and get it, I was again grateful that my commute is all of 30 seconds.  I pulled my car into the “loading zone” and left it running while I ran inside.  As I ran in I glanced down and saw a butterfly flapping what I figured were its last flaps before it died.  It looked to only have one wing.  When I came back out of the office a few minutes later that same butterfly was flapping with all its might... and FLYING with what I could then see was one full wing and one broken wing.  I wish I could have gotten a picture, but my phone was at the house.  Even if I had had my phone, I doubt I would have been able to adequately capture its struggle to fly in a photo.  

Dreams... Maybe I'm a little homesick...

I’ve had two dreams in the last week about taking really really long drives to visit people for a very short amount of time.

In the first dream I was going to drive 16 hours to deliver something near WV and visit my sister and the rest of my family while I was at it.  However, it was Monday and I knew I had to be back by Thursday so basically I would get to spend one day with my family and have to drive home.

This morning I had the second dream.  In it I got up early, early, early on a Sunday morning and drove to Baton Rouge getting there as Gena and them were getting out of church.  Her Mom and sister, Crysta, were there too.  It was 9am when I got there (the must have gone to the early service) and I had to leave by 1pm to get home for something going on that night.  I had four whole hours to spend there.

This morning as I thought about the fact that in both dreams I was willing to drive a long distance for a very short visit, I wondered if maybe I’m just a little homesick for my family and friends?  

I’m headed to Baltimore in a little over a week and a half to see Liz and Pete.  That will be a fun weekend.  I just wish I a. had more money and b. had more time off to visit a few other people.  I absolutely love LOVE my friends and “family” here, but I guess I’m just missing those people I don’t get to see as often. 

Unity!

Last week in staff meeting we were discussing unity.  It’s been a hot topic amongst some here lately.  I saw a picture as some of my co-workers talked and shared things God was showing them, but I didn’t share it.  I’ve been pondering it, and waiting for the right words to describe what I was seeing.

Sometimes the Simple Things We Say Mean the Most!

Yesterday my team had a major project with a deadline of closing time.  It’s something we had been working on for about a week, but my boss was putting on the pressure (understandably so) and we needed to get it done YESTERDAY!  Fortunately I have an amazing media team and we managed to pull it all together in time, even though the last hour or so was very stressful.

I want to be that Mom!

Tonight as I was making my homemade pb&j toaster pastries I was reminded of one of my Mom's favorite stories from my childhood. One of my good friends, Lissi, lived across the street. One day i came home from playing at her house and said, "Mom, Lissi's Mom made french toast from scratch!"

Another Mom Dream

This morning I had another dream about my Mom.  It’s left me a bit weepy all morning and made me unusually late for work.  It’s rather difficult to put on eye makeup when tears are streaming down your face.  Good thing I have waterproof eye liner!  And so thankful for understanding bosses and co-workers.

100 Random Facts About Me

100.  Despite my attempt at having other favorite colors I always come back to pink.  I suppose I’m just a girlie girl at heart!  

99.  I like peach flavored things - peach cobbler, peach candy, peach flavored drinks.

98.  I love roses, but specifically I love unique colors of roses.  Not a big fan of red roses though I wouldn’t turn them down if someone brought/sent me some.

Thoughts on Prayer

I have a confession to make.  My whole life I have been embarrassed to pray in front of people.  I can get up and lead worship, I can teach, I can do a lot of things that require speaking in front of people, but praying in front of people makes me panic a tad.  I’ve always felt like I didn’t have the right words, or like people would think my prayers were too simple.  I’m not really great at quoting chapter and verse, but I can usually get the gist of it.  I feel like I missed the lesson on the powerful prayer formula.  

Mom Dream 5.4.11

WARNING:  This may induce tears... or maybe I’m the only one that it made cry....

I didn’t sleep so well last night.  I had a dream that my Mom was still alive.  But it wasn’t a good dream.  

Mother's Day Ads are Killing Me!

Months ago my very smart and long time friend Gena decided that she and her husband wanted me with them for Mother’s Day.  So we planned a crazy little trip that included me going to Baton Rouge and us driving to Dallas to celebrate my friend Crysta’s impending 30th birthday.  (More on that trip at a later date.)

I’ve wondered for some time how I would feel on Mother’s Day.  Would being away from home, with people that are very much family to me help me through it without any incident, or would it still be hard?  

Relationship Reset Button

Last night at church Pastor Jane was doing a recap of last week’s conference.  I always enjoy those because despite the fact that I worked the conference I didn’t necessarily get to devote my undivided attention to what the speakers were saying.  But this isn’t a blog about what happened at last week’s conference.  It’s merely that a statement she made prompted a thought.. and that is the focus of this blog.

An Update on Me

Two weeks ago today I had a bit of a break down and scared quite a few of the people that care about me.  I had reached what I call a point of “critical mass.”  

I’ll spare you all the details of that dark evening, but I realized a few things after the fact.

My Wish List - A little birthday silliness!

As my Birthday approaches - one week from today - I find myself thinking of things I would appreciate receiving for my birthday.  Not that I actually anticipate, or expect anyone to buy these things... but I was just thinking about stuff I want/need.

Forgiveness... Is more than saying sorry...

Two simple words.... three if you’re too good for contractions or you’re trying to really make a point.  I’M SORRY!  Why are those words so difficult for people to utter?  It’s so much easier to say, “I’m sorry,” than it is to give a whole bunch of excuses.

Cry Baby... or not...

Please tell me I’m not the only person that can be provoked to deep thought by one conversation, or even sometimes one comment.  Surely I’m not the only person that this is true for.  

Well that being said a comment was made to me last week that had me thinking.  A friend asked if I ever cry.  I had just mentioned my Mom, but unsure as to the reference of the question I responded, “In general or about my Mom?”  Apparently this friend was not satisfied by the fact that they haven’t seen me cry about my Mom.  

The interesting fact is … I don’t cry much.  I actually did not cry at the memorial service.  I determined to keep it together because I knew if I cried I wouldn’t be able to sing.  My uncle almost foiled this plan, though he knew nothing of it, when he got up to read a scripture.  Something about men crying does me in every time!  However, when my Mother’s husband did his little sobbing stint I was less than amused.  I actually turned around, made eye contact with Candice and rolled my eyes.  (This only makes sense if you understand the whole story of what happened... Click Here to read it.)  

Have I cried over my Mom’s death?  The answer is yes.  I sobbed when I found out.  I’ve definitely had moments of sobbing since.  They just occur when I’m alone, and usually at night.

Remember my blog about being the girl that was always teased and picked on?  Well, I was also a cry baby.  So when I got picked on, I cried.  Do you know what happens if you cry when picked on?  You get picked on more!  At some point I realized I had to have tough skin and couldn’t cry anymore.  

Stifling emotions is never healthy... at some point many years later I discovered some tears are healthy.  I always hated when there was a really great worship service or altar call and everyone was crying, but me.  It wasn’t that I wasn’t moved, but I just didn’t cry.  On the other hand if I was angry and needed to try and confront someone I would cry.  Rather counter productive.  

Also, in regards to my Mom... I think about her all the time.  I miss her like crazy, but I don’t want to be “Debbie Downer.”  I know my friends love me and would lend a shoulder to cry on even at dinner or a movie if I needed it, but I need those times to “escape” and usually don’t want to cry at that point.

So what has triggered tears?  

• When I found the recording on my phone of my Mom wishing me a Happy Birthday.
• Reading her prayer journal.
• Finding my name written next to a scripture in her Bible.
• Remembering the last conversation I had on the phone with her.
• Thinking about all the times I prayed that God wouldn’t take my Mom until I had a husband to take care of me.

Today it has been two months.  It feels so much longer than that and yet like yesterday at the same time.  

Ghosts of Valentine’s Days Past

I don’t have a whole lot of really great Valentine’s Day memories.  My long stint of singleness hasn’t helped that scenario either.  But I loathe it a little less every year, and this year I really don’t loathe it at all.  I think I have some sick satisfaction in the fact that V.D. falls on a Monday this year.  It is therefore, tainted!  It can’t be perfectly happy and lovely because... IT’S MONDAY!  Though I personally don’t hold any permanent/long standing ill will against Mondays, I know most people do.  And... that is enough to make me not feel quite so bad about the fact that I’ll spend my Valentine’s Evening on the couch with Beaux... eating leftovers and Girl Scout cookies.