Two
simple words.... three if you’re too good for contractions or you’re
trying to really make a point. I’M SORRY! Why are those words so
difficult for people to utter? It’s so much easier to say, “I’m sorry,”
than it is to give a whole bunch of excuses.
A
friend and I were recently encouraging each other through a week that
seemed to bombard us with situations of disappointment and opportunity
for offense. Each of our situations seemed laden with excuses and
avoidance of responsibility (by the offender of course... not by us ;) )
but completely lacked words that would have made us feel better about
the situation. I’m sorry. Simple words that can mean so much, of
course as long as you feel the individual is being sincere.
Loyalty
is a big thing to me, so when someone says they are going to do
something with or for me and then they don’t, my feelings can get a
little hurt. I’m a fairly forgiving person though, and I get over it.
In a situation like this “I’m sorry” goes a LONG way. Much longer than
making excuses. Excuses are like salt in the wound of disappointment.
Whereas a sincere apology is like a butterfly bandage for the soul. It
closes the wound and protects it from infection.
Several
times I have tried to drive home the importance of a sincere apology,
or repentance, with the Jr. High kids at church. A sincere apology is
like repentance. Repentance is turning from your ways, not just saying
you’re sorry, but it starts with being sorry. You can’t have repentance
without being remorseful, sorrowful, aware of your wrong doing. But
you can be sorry without repentance. The difference is a sincere
apology versus an insincere one.
I
know when the Jr. High kids are truly sorry, repentant, about their
behavior. It shows in their face, it’s expressed through their words
and it’s carried out in their actions. It’s about personal
responsibility. It’s about admitting wrong or neglect, putting aside
your victim mentality and entitlement and owning up to your actions.
Sometimes we need to apologize about things that we’ve done consciously
and other times unconsciously. It’s like sins of commission and
omission.
The
Bible encourages us to forgive 70 times seven and it doesn’t say, “But
only if the offender says they are sorry.” We are instructed to forgive
regardless, however, a sincere apology speeds up the process of
forgiveness exponentially. The Bible also says that we shouldn’t be a
stumbling block to our brother (or sister). Can your lack of an apology
be a stumbling block to one of your siblings in Christ? Hmmmm.....
I’m
as guilty as anyone else of getting defensive anytime I’m confronted
with what someone considers a wrong I’ve committed against them. But
the more I value receiving an apology, the more willing I am to lay my
own embarrassment and pride aside and offer a sincere apology. We reap
what we sow, right? So if I want to receive sincere excuse free
apologies I need to offer them.
Lay
down your pride, your excuses, your victim mentality, your entitlement,
whatever keeps you from being able to utter those simple words, and
turn from your behavior. You will feel better! The other person will
feel better! This is the way you “win friends and influence people.”
This is the honey that attracts bees!
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