Disappointment

Is there ever a point when it’s okay to be disappointed?  I ask myself this question as I fight feeling disappointed.  Part of me says my pending disappointment is irrational because I should have expected it.  There was that small voice in the back of my head that said, “Don’t get your hopes up.”  Why did that still small voice say that?  Was it God warning me against impending doom or because lack of follow through by others, or at least one person, has been a common theme in my life for 30 years?


I just had an “AH HA” moment... Disappointment is the “easy button” of my life.  Something happens and the enemy hits it and the words resound “that was easy.”  In a second I’m there.  I’m disappointed.  I’m reliving all of the other times I was disappointed, comparing the perpetrator to all of the previous offenders and I’m fighting my way out out of bitterness, hopelessness and hurt all over again.

In an attempt to rid the “easy button” from my life I’ve built an expectation that people will not follow through.  You would think that would eliminate the disappointment factor, but instead it exacerbates it.  And ultimately it causes my heart to be hardened towards those that have ever disappointed me.

Loyalty and integrity are important to me.  (You know this if you’ve ever read my blog before.)  And lack of follow through is contrary to those values which I hold so dear, which is why disappointment is an “easy button” in my life.  So, the question is, how do I shut down disappointment’s power in my life?  How do I remove it’s “easy button” effect?  I can’t live my life expecting people not to follow through. And I can’t expect to never be disappointed again.  I mean, we’re people and as long as there are people there will be let downs.  

So, what do I do?  How do I deal with these disappointments, or seeming disappointments, and move on without becoming calloused?  I guess it’s like asking, how do you guard your heart without putting up walls?  It’s a balancing act!  

I suppose as with so many things that forgiveness is the first step.  Maybe the second step is getting past my hurt and believing that the person had the best intentions.  That reminds me of something my boss once told all of the managers.  He said he always believes that people meant well and maintains that position until they do something to blatantly prove that to be false.  He certainly has a lot more grace and mercy for people than I do, but I am so grateful that he does.  I’ve needed his belief in my good intentions once or twice.  

Now that I’ve recognized that disappointment is an “easy button” in my life I can focus on making it’s power over my life less effective and therefore removing it’s “easiness.”  It is inevitable that in my life someone, probably multiple people, will disappoint me again, but I don’t have to let that disappointment make me bitter, offended wounded.  I can take it for what it is, a human mistake, and believe for the best the next time around!

Maybe you disappointment doesn’t affect you like it does me.  Maybe your “easy button” is something else.  Whatever your “easy button” is ask God to show you so that you can break it’s power over your life.  Don’t allow the enemy to have any place in your life where he can say, “That was easy!”